Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize