you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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