Moan for me like Helen Keller
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
