So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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