I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
