new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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