I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
