my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i drank out of a bidet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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