Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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