the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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