So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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