It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize