I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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