i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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