Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
