i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
