Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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