My friends, they love my intelligence
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
