He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
