Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize