I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
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You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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