This is not my ceiling
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
