Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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