We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Randomize
