You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
