Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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