My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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