Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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