if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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