So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize