In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
