5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
