Small penises have feelings too.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
