He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
