Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
