I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
