it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
