im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i already hear my dad disowning me
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart