You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something