Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
