So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
