my shit smells like andre
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
