Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
