either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
