You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
