and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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