She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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