I want to stick my p in your. b.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
