The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize