Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
