do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Why is there bacon in the couch?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
