How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
