eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
