remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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