This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
