If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
