It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize