no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
